You Don't Know What It's Like
by Renica Swavely
Summary: After Crait, Rey searches for solace on the crowded Falcon, only to have the bond open and the new Supreme Leader join her in her confined space. A onehot for the Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's TLJ Flash Fic Challenge on tumblr.


Rey watched the aftershocks of the battle ripple through what remained of the Resistance.

"Just be patient," Finn had attempted to console her. Rey had shaken her head, getting up and searching for a place to hide.

Leia had already tried to comfort her. While Rey usually found her words comforting, she was surprised by how annoyed she had become. The anger had coursed through her like liquid fire, causing her to clench her hands so tightly her nails dug into her flesh, leaving marks.

Open space was hard to locate on her overrun ship. Between the rebels and the stowaway Porgs, she was beginning to doubt she'd find solace. It wasn't until she discovered where her escape pod had been stored. Without the pod, the shoot was available and as an extra blessing, sound proof.

Rey easily slipped herself inside, unnoticed. Latching the door behind her, she leaned back against the side, closing her eyes. Finally, she was alone.

Poe had told her to keep her head up. He probably thought she was some legend. It was as Luke had told her. The Jedi were flawed. She had not set out to be famed the way Master Skywalker was. She had merely wanted to understand.

Her friends couldn't understand. No one could. No one could possibly wrap their mind around what she had gone through in the past couple of days. No one but him.

 _Kylo Ren._

 _Ben Solo._

 _Whoever he is._

 _Whatever he is._

When he had told her he wanted her to join him, she realized her faith in him had been misplaced. She had failed in her mission. Then he had had to say that final word: Please.

In that moment, no matter how brief or fleeting, her immediate reaction had been to give up and let go, as he had asked. She wanted to forget all of it — she had never asked for this.

Finally, she allowed the ache in her chest to release. She sunk to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees, pulling them against her chest. Her tears soaked through her tunic. She paid them no attention.

 _Rey._

Her breath hitched and she rushed to wipe the evidence of her crying away. The air was still. All she could hear was his breathing, deep and heavy. His eyes met hers.

 _Rey._

She ignored him. It was salt - salt in an open wound. _Kriffing Force bond_. She had suspected Snoke had lied about creating it. Now her suspicion was confirmed. They had made contact twice since his demise.

 _Why?_

It was a single word. How could it convey all of his pain? That tormented look was still in his eyes. She turned away. She wanted to be steadfast in her resolve to shut him out. The last person she wanted to talk to right now was him.

* * *

Kylo had felt the pull while discussing preparations with Hux. It came as no surprise to Kylo Hux constantly considered killing him. Hux was driven by power and ambition. His lack of faith in Kylo's new role was hardly worth mentioning. It did provide The Supreme Leader endless opportunities to vex the redhead.

He was in the middle of such a comment, when the room fell silent, all air rushing out. Instantly, he dismissed Hux, turning in his heel to return to his quarters. If his underlings presumed he was full of unstable rage, it worked in his favor. They were less likely to question his authority out of fear. If they caught him talking to nothing, it would be cause for his removal on grounds of his sanity. And Hux would be the first to take advantage of it.

Though he didn't fully understand their connection yet, he was grateful her presence materialized in his chambers, away from the watchful eyes of the General. She was curled up, upon herself, crying. She ignored him calling out to her and hid her face, making herself smaller, trying to escape him.

Kylo knew he should be furious. The boiling rage he had felt in the throne room when he had awoken to find her gone had consumed him. But as with all his anger, he had used it to fuel his next actions. The battle on Crait had devastated the Resistance. Despite their escape, he had no concerns about them rebuilding. He would find them long before that. He would find her.

Her eyes were rimmed red. Those weren't the silent tears she had shed when he had asked her to join him. These were body racking sobs. A phantom ache blossomed in his chest. Her pain. He didn't understand. He had offered her everything. He had murdered his master, fought alongside her. How could she not see her place was beside him? It was the Force's will.

With a sigh, he moved to kneel before her. She was hurting, as he was. He chided himself for being so weak. Snoke had been correct in one thing. His compassion for her outweighed all else. She was his mortal flaw, his favorite sin.

She did not wish to speak with him. That much was clear. He reached for her, disregarding how she flinched in surprise when he wrapped his large arms around her small frame, and drew her against his chest.

At first, she was stiff, unyielding. His Scavenger. Always so stubborn. Why had he ever thought she'd be anything but difficult? It was her nature, just as it was his. They were evenly matched.

Eventually, she relaxed in his embrace, rests her head on him until her tears had dried. He tore one of his gloves off with the aid of his teeth. His freed hand came up to draw circles on her back, a comforting technique his mother had used on him as a child. It was one of his few pleasant memories.

They remained that way, neither speaking, until she faded away.

* * *

 **A/N:** My response to the Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's tumblr post/challenge of 1,000 words or less. Comments are love!


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